Despair, in words
Funny Demotivational Quotes
A growing collection of original demotivational quotes — dry, deadpan, and office-tested. Click any line to drop it straight onto a poster, or write your own.
Make a poster — freeMEETINGS
Where minutes are taken and hours are lost.
AMBITION
The first step toward slightly missing the target.
SYNERGY
The noise we make agreeing to do nothing.
- 01“If you can dream it, you can spend years failing to do it.” Make it
- 02“Hard work always pays off — eventually, for someone else.” Make it
- 03“None of us is as dumb as all of us.” Make it
- 04“The light at the end of the tunnel is a delayed train.” Make it
- 05“Some people are like clouds: when they disappear, it's a beautiful day.” Make it
- 06“Every great journey begins with a meeting that should have been an email.” Make it
- 07“Your potential is limitless, which makes the results even more disappointing.” Make it
- 08“Believe in yourself — someone has to, and clearly nobody else will.” Make it
- 09“Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who do neither are management.” Make it
- 10“Tomorrow: the only day of the week guaranteed to stay productive.” Make it
- 11“Teamwork: a few people doing all the work so the rest can take the credit.” Make it
- 12“Synergy is the noise we make agreeing to do nothing.” Make it
- 13“It could be the purpose of your life is simply to warn others.” Make it
- 14“There is no 'I' in team, but there are four in 'individual brilliance ignored.'” Make it
- 15“Mondays are proof that anything good can be ruined by a calendar.” Make it
- 16“Ambition is the first step toward a lifetime of slightly missing the target.” Make it
- 17“The early bird gets the worm; the second mouse gets the cheese.” Make it
- 18“Effort is the thing you mention in the meeting after the deadline passes.” Make it
- 19“Patience: the art of looking calm while you slowly lose your mind.” Make it
- 20“Dreams are just goals that haven't been disappointed yet.” Make it
- 21“Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?” Make it
- 22“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” Make it
- 23“Meetings: where minutes are taken and hours are lost.” Make it
- 24“Productivity is just procrastination wearing a tie.” Make it
- 25“Success is going from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm and no raise.” Make it
- 26“If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.” Make it
- 27“The road to nowhere is surprisingly well attended.” Make it
- 28“Mediocrity takes less time to achieve and almost nobody notices.” Make it